I've been wanting to post something about the homegirl Ali for a minute, but it's been hard to find words for this phenomenal woman, phenomenally. So, I was ecstatic to find an article in the San Francisco Chronicle in her own words. Ali, if you are reading this, I want to let you know that we're all hella of proud of you! Keep doing your thing and knock 'em dead when you move to the Big Apple!
11 Things: Ali Wong
Thursday, January 15, 2009
You may not want to take your easily offended grandma to see San Francisco comedian Ali Wong, but those who are tickled by wickedly raunchy gross-out humor will get major laughs at her stand-up shows. This week, Wong headlines the Naked Comedy Showcase at the Clubhouse, and we asked her to share 11 Things that make her laugh.
1. Ed Hardy clothes
Mr. Hardy is the official sponsor of people-you-should-never-date. Who cares if his clothing looks just like tattoos? You know what else look like tattoos? TATTOOS.
2. People who cry on their cell phones in public
Why can't some women just wait until they get home to tell their husbands that they've cheated on them? They just love saving the confrontation for Gap Kids.
3. The white alligator at the California Academy of Sciences
At first, I thought it was a huge piece of raw chicken. There's no warning to prepare you for the fact that you're about to see the "Powder" of alligators.
4. Baker Beach
There's nothing like seeing a family unknowingly stroll into the nude section of Baker Beach. All of the men there look like cartoon characters from the Far Side and some like to wear fanny packs. I've seen others just do head stands.
Men aren't very experienced at anorexia because most of them don't get fat until they're 26 years old. Switching to Bud Light isn't going to change much, so they get frustrated, angry and constantly look at their inflating bellies in the mirror. Welcome to our world.
6. Gift baskets
Nobody in my family wants a can of salmon, a jar of random jam, cheddar cheese and wine. We call that fart fuel. I'd prefer a bag of shrimp candy and coupons.
7. Names for wireless networks
My favorites: "IloveDavid," "2PacisAlive," "Crazin."
8. Dolores Park
On a sunny day, it's a hipster factory. You would think that Vice magazine threw up there. And every day, it's a field of dog poop.
Nobody would ever write a negative review of themselves. Only an idiot would tell their employer that they spend 80 percent of their workday stealing office supplies and stalking ex-boyfriends on Facebook.
10. Facebook breakups
This occurs when one person in the couple can't wait to put the Bat signal out that they're now available and potentially desperate for a hot rebound.
11. The 38-Geary
What I also like to call the Trans-Siberian railroad express to Lenin's tomb.
This article appeared on page G - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/15/NS2P156568.DTL
Here are a couple of my favorite Ali clips:
What Charles Ses, Episode 1 from Ali Wong on Vimeo.
Disneyland from Ali Wong on Vimeo.
Also, go buy a LIMITED EDITION FTC-ALI WONG T-SHIRT y'all!